Due to a doctor’s office scheduling snafu that was, shockingly, not my fault, I made two trips to Chicago this week, neither of which resulted in a frenzy of shopping, but that’s OK. My disappointment subsided when my doctor walked into the exam room and asked if I was ready to become a guinea pig. My answer, not surprisingly, was hell yes. The clinic has finally been given the green light to start their clinical trial for the nerve stimulator and I was the first lucky patient to find out and get started. Next week I have to go back there to meet with both teams of doctors and begin keeping an electronic diary for 30 days. They won’t be able to implant the temporary leads until I can prove that I have six or more migraines a month (if only it were only six). So if all goes well I could have surgery in as soon as a month and a half.
Now that I kind of have an idea for when this will all happen I’ve started to let myself make some plans and think about all the trips I’ve been putting off until after the surgery. Well, put off no more. Here are my plans for Mary’s Freeloading Reunion Tour. To all of you who’ve said “come visit me,” you will live to regret offering me your spare futon. If I’ve left you off my itinerary, let me know. Or if you’ve saved up some vacation time and want to come along, you’re more than welcome to. I only ask that you have a high tolerance for frequent pit stops.
- I’ll start in the Great White North, Minnesota with stops in the Twin Cities, Owatonna, Rochester and Austin.
- From there it’s on to Iowa because I could really use a guided tour of the gorgeous new Des Moines library. I never thought I’d go back to Des Moines for the architecture -- it’s a city whose skyline’s most notable feature is a building that looks like an Absolut bottle at night.
- After Iowa I could head due east for Chicago, but all you Chicagoland residents will be sick to death of me by then, unless you are my sister, and then you are contractually mandated to put me up.
- Next on the list is St. Louis where more blood relatives are obligated to entertain me and take me on brewery tours and to Cardinals games.
- Then it’s off to tap the Rockies in Boulder and Denver and take in at least one boxing class and one side-trip to a mountain gambling town.
- When I get tired of tapping the Rockies (as if that’s even possible), it’s time to trek south to Tucson to see three new cousins who’ve been born since my last trip there.
- Last but not least, The Freeloading Reunion Tour will draw to a close in L.A. where I’ll mooch off of the last of my relatives with spare bedroom.
Did I leave anyone off? Also, would it kill any of you to relocate to Seattle? I hear summer is fantastic there.
